mark, my words

May 20, 1998

Another basically good day today. I'm liking this.

Not a whole lot happened today. I woke up earlier than normal for my dentist appointment which went fine. I have to wake up, again, earlier than "normal for me" tomorrow for a doctor's appointment.

Talked to Joey for a while tonight. Things continue to look fine. I love talking to her. We're going to go to an awards ceremony tomorrow. She's going to go to the graduation on Friday, and we'll do the movie thing on Saturday. I think it's almost time to put my walking on air shoes on.

For over a year, I've been involved with constructing a project that has taken up a great deal of my time and interest. Very recently, this project has mysteriously changed focus and I've apparently been shoved aside in the process. Instead of having to deal with the more and more frustrating conditions, I withdrew my commitment to this project tonight.

It's amazing to me that the large amount of time, work, and dedication that I've logged with this project can so easily be ignored. The good news is I'm free from the responsibilities that went along with being involved and can begin to about the same project in a much more construvtive manner.

Being shoved aside and unappreciated hurts. But, the feeling of no longer being attached to what is clearly a sinking ship is slightly comforting. What's even more sad is the fact that I have made several friends while working on this project and no doubt they have heard, or will hear, different stories and have a different take on things. In reality, I'm more content and excited about the future projects in my back pocket but what hurts even more than being shoved aside is that the few people I continue to respect a great deal might have been painted a different picture of me than of what truly exists. If that makes any sense.

I guess that was a little excitement in an otherwise not too exciting normal life. I'd rather have had more pleasant things to say, but in the end I'm doing quite well and looking forward to the next few days.

- mark


© 1998. Mark Bakalor. All Rights Reserved.